Voices of Young Survivors: What Children Want Us to Know

Young survivors share what children want adults to know about abuse, disclosure, and healing, based on survivor-led global research.

Introduction

Children who experience abuse are often spoken about, studied, and represented through adult perspectives. Policies are written for them. Programs are designed around them. Decisions are made in their name.
Yet too often, their own voices are missing.
Across global research, young survivors consistently say that one of the most painful parts of their experience is not only the abuse itself, but what followed: silence, disbelief, judgment, or being rushed to speak before they were ready. Listening to children is not an optional part of protection. It is central to it.
This article centers what young survivors themselves want us to understand, drawing directly from survivor-informed research and lived experience.

Whose Voices Are We Listening To?

One of the most significant efforts to prioritize survivor voices is Disrupting Harm: Conversations with Young Survivors, a global qualitative study led by ECPAT International in collaboration with UNICEF’s Office of Research – Innocenti.

The study involved 33 in-depth, one-on-one conversations with young people aged 16 to 24 who experienced online child sexual exploitation and abuse between the ages of 9 and 17. Participants came from Kenya, South Africa, Namibia, Malaysia, and Cambodia. Importantly, the research focused on survivors’ own words, reflections, and recommendations, rather than adult interpretations of their experiences.

This survivor-led approach marks a critical shift. Instead of asking only what adults think children need, the research asks children what they want us to know.

What Young Survivors Say About Their Experiences

Survivors rarely describe their experiences in clinical or legal terms. Instead, they speak about context, vulnerability, and loss of control.

Many describe growing up without age-appropriate education about relationships, consent, or digital safety. Others speak about complex family situations, limited adult supervision online, or feeling isolated at key moments. These conditions did not cause the abuse, but they shaped vulnerability.

When harm occurred, survivors often described manipulation rather than overt force. Technology was frequently used to exploit trust, blur boundaries, and create a sense of control that was difficult to escape. Afterward, many spoke about fear, shame, and self-blame.

These emotional impacts echo what CPGN has documented in its work on how sexual abuse affects a child, including long-term effects on trust, self-worth, and emotional safety.
What stands out across survivor accounts is how deeply abuse affects a child’s sense of agency and voice.

“Be There When I’m Ready to Talk”: How Children Experience Disclosure

One of the clearest messages from survivors is that disclosure is not a single moment. It is a process.

Research published in 2025 on how children disclose abuse shows that young people make deliberate decisions about when, how, and to whom they speak. Trust matters more than authority. Many children disclose first to peers rather than adults, especially if they fear judgment or disbelief.

This challenges a common adult assumption that children should speak immediately or follow formal reporting pathways. Survivors emphasize that pressure to disclose too early can feel unsafe.

As one recurring theme from the Disrupting Harm study shows, children want adults to “be there when I am ready to talk,” not when it is convenient for systems.

When Not Being Believed Causes Further Harm

For many survivors, the response to disclosure shaped their healing as much as the abuse itself.
Clinical and survivor-centered research consistently documents the harm caused by dismissal, disbelief, or blame. Survivors describe withdrawing after being questioned harshly, ignored, or told they misunderstood what happened. Silence is often reinforced not by the abuse, but by how adults respond afterward.

This aligns with findings published in survivor-focused clinical research, which emphasize that supportive responses can significantly influence recovery, while rejection deepens trauma and isolation.

What Children Want Adults to Know

Across studies and survivor narratives, several clear messages emerge. These are not abstract recommendations. They are expressed directly by young survivors.

Children want adults to make it clear where help can be found, without forcing them to ask repeatedly. They want to be listened to without judgment, interrogation, or assumptions. They want to be believed, even when their story is uncomfortable or complicated. They want to tell their story in their own words and in their own time. And they want education earlier, before harm happens, not afterward.

These messages remind us that safeguarding is not only about systems. It is about relationships.

What Survivor Voices Teach Us About Prevention

Listening to survivors does more than inform healing. It strengthens prevention.

Survivors emphasize the importance of clear, accessible support pathways, trusted adults who are visibly available, and education that reflects real risks children face, including online spaces. They also highlight the need for adults to take responsibility rather than placing the burden of safety on children alone.

When survivor insights shape prevention efforts, systems become more responsive, realistic, and effective.

Supporting Survivors and Honoring Choice

If This Topic Brings Up Difficult Feelings

Reading about survivor experiences can be emotional, especially for those who have lived through harm themselves. If you or someone you care about needs support, Child Protection Global Network provides access to trusted help resources and guidance rooted in child-centered protection principles.

You are not alone, and help is available when you are ready.
Help & Resources

Sharing Your Voice, When You Are Ready

Many survivors emphasize that sharing their story should always be a choice. For those who feel ready, CPGN offers a respectful space where voices can be shared without judgment, pressure, or exposure.

Sharing is never required. Support always comes first.
Share Your Story

Listening Is Protection

Survivors have told us what they need. The question now is whether we are willing to listen.

Listening to children does not weaken protection systems. It strengthens them. When we center survivor voices, we design better responses, create safer pathways to help, and prevent future harm.

Safeguarding is not only about policies and procedures. It is about hearing children when they speak, respecting silence when they are not ready, and building systems that respond with care, credibility, and trust.
When we truly listen, we protect.

FAQs

1. Why is it important to listen to young survivors?

Listening to young survivors helps child protection systems respond to real needs, not assumptions. Survivor voices improve prevention, trust, and healing.

2. How do children usually disclose abuse?

Disclosure is often gradual. Many children share first with someone they trust, not necessarily an authority figure, and only when they feel safe.

3. What do young survivors want from adults?

Young survivors want adults to listen without judgment, believe them, respect their timing, and clearly explain where help is available.